Ain't Mad At You

So I know it's depressin, but these thoughts on my mind are pressin, heavy like a half ton brick
Mom, it was never your fault, don't even begin to think, that anything you did brought me to the brink, now my life is like a lit cigarette, up in smoke, loved it and now it's gone, when did I lose it, about 16 years old I lost it, through it into a chest and smashed it, a chest with a lock can't reopen, can't change the past, can't take back my last, life moves too fast, step back should be a blast, but the only blast I hear is, no I won't say it, it won't happen, I'll keep on mappin the next hole I'll step in, I won't end it like cowards, who knows maybe there's a reason I draw conclusions backwards, upside down, these pills won't stay down

I ain't mad at you

Have I changed to you, I think I have, I snap at a whim, I keep my head down and can no longer swim, this isn't me, I'd tell you, I wish I could, but the words I say don't come out like they should, but hey give me a minute I need to step outside, need a second to step aside, clear my head, get fresh air, get up off this bed

I ain't mad at you
I ain't mad at you
Too many years I thought about you, but didn't move, but didn't move
Too many years, but I could not get through, through to you, but I ain't mad at you

Dad it wasn't you neither, whether you know it or not, I love you, that ain't a lie, I really do, life was never a promise, but this I can, my heart is there, locked away or up in the air, a place is there, so pull up a chair and understand I care

I ain't mad at you

If anyone will ever see the real me, maybe not in person, maybe through these words it'll give reason, but if I leave earth, space has no place for a man with no face to place his head on, but the world feeds on what goes on, so get up and move on!

I ain't mad at you
I ain't mad at you
Too many years I thought about you, but didn't move, but didn't move
Too many years, but I could not get through, through to you, but I ain't mad at you